Sunday, March 6, 2011

Development vs Revolution

     “Humans are social animals, said Aristotle. More than two millennia after his death, the great Greek philosophers statement seems ever more valid. A large portion of the rapidly developing technologies of the modern society are centered around the goal of connecting more and more people. The telephone marked the beginning of this trend, and other technologies such as the World Wide Web and MSN followed. The most recent social technology, Facebook, has caused a sensation in the world, acquiring more than 600 million users in January 2011, of which over 15 million were active. Thus, it is not surprising that Mark Zuckerberg, the creator of Facebook, became the Person of the Year, a title given by the Times to the most influential person of the year. However, it is controversial as to whether another person deserves the title. Upon inspection, it is reasonable that the title should be given to another person Julian Assange.
     Last year, the aggressive actions of North Korea towards its southern counterpart aroused issues concerning the possibility of unification between the two divided Koreas. In the midst of speculations, a secret diplomatic document between China and the United States was revealed by an equally secretive organization, WikiLeaks. The document enclosed information about the advantages China would receive in the case of Koreas unification. WikiLeaks is an organization composed of unidentified members who operate all over the world and extract secret documents and information from government facilities and corporations. This information is posted on its website for the world to see. Among the information the organization leaked are documents concerning the inhumane treatments of prisoners in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, and even one on UFOs and aliens. Although the specific constituents of the group were not revealed, a person assumed to be the director, Julian Assange, was arrested.
     The WikiLeaks incident caused a worldwide commotion. Before the incident, the public opinion was of trust of corporations and governments. Although people acknowledged that there were some things that could not be revealed to the public for national security reasons, such as military operation plans or state-of-the-art technologies, most believed that the unrevealed portions were minimal and ignorable. However, WikiLeaks overturned this belief completely. People realized that governments and corporations were hiding their negative aspects, secret contracts and immoral deeds from the public eye. People were horrified at these facts, and their belief about the openness of their governments was challenged as they saw the truth behind the mask.
    Advocates of Zuckerberg justify the Times decision of naming him the Person of the Year by asserting that Zuckerberg revolutionized the way people communicate. Indeed, Zuckerberg and his creation Facebook made it possible for people to exchange information simultaneously and to a large number of people by posting their daily actions and feelings. It made communication easier in contrast to other measures such as e-mail, blogs, or homepages. However, Mark Zuckerbergs achievement is not a revolution, but a development. It changed the way people communicate, but it is still within the already known boundary of communication. On the other hand, Julian Assange completely overturned and changed the way people view the world by making it clear that what is usually seen by the public is not the actual truth. He showed that it is only the tip of the iceberg that is shown. This is why Assange has made a more notable achievement than Zuckerberg, the official Person of the Year. This is why more votes were actually casted for Assange in the deciding of the Person of the Year, and why Assange was announced the Readers' Choice for TIME's Person of the Year 2010.
     In a parody about Mark Zuckerberg and Julian Assange, the fake Assange says What are the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and me? I give private information on corporations to you for free, and I am a villain. Zuckerberg gives your private information to corporations for money and hes Person of the Year. This statement can be translated as that while Zuckerberg gave the ultimate benefits to a small number of corporations, Assange ultimately benefited the public. Since the benefits of Assange stretch over a larger audience than those of Zuckerberg, Assange deserves to be the real Person of the Year, not Zuckerberg.

2 comments:

  1. (Love the Aristotle quote.)

    A large portion of the rapidly developing technologies of the modern society are centered around the goal of connecting more and more people.

    (Read the above sentence out loud and you will hear the problem. Run-on, cluttered, hard to grasp the meaning. Somethings got to go.)

    The telephone marked the beginning of this trend, and other technologies(,) such as the World Wide Web and MSN(,) followed. The most recent social technology, Facebook, has caused a GLOBAL sensation (DELETE), acquiring more than 600 million users AS OF January 2011, of which over 15 million were active.

    a title given by (DELETE) TIME MAGAZINE to the most influential person of the year. However, it is controversial as to whether another person IS MORE DESERVING OF the title - WITH PARTICULAR CONSIDERATION OF Julian Assange.
    Last year, the aggressive actions of North Korea towards its southern counterpart aroused issues concerning the possibility of unification between the two divided Koreas.

    (Above sentence is a bit fraught. Slim it down.)

    (Korea/China and then in the same paragraph: WikiLeaks is an organization composed of unidentified members who operate...

    My issue: You don't capitalize on the Korea/China issue - or elaborate. It seems random and misplaced with the Wikileaks summary.)

    Before the incident, the public opinion was of trust of corporations and governments.

    (This sentence is a risky assumption - can we really state this so generally? What public opinion? Where? When? This paragraph is spun a bit redundantly. Connect it to person of the year.)
    Advocates of Zuckerberg justify (DELETE) Time’s decision of naming him the ‘Person of the Year’...

    This is why Assange has made a more notable achievement than Zuckerberg, the official ‘Person of the Year.’ This is why more votes were actually CAST for Assange in (DELETE) deciding of the ‘Person of the Year,’ and why Assange was announced AS THE‘Readers' Choice for TIME's Person of the Year 2010.’

    (Above section says "Person of the Year" a bit repeatedly. If this is for rhetorical emphasis it needs more structure/flow.)

    the PARODY of Assange says “What are the differenceS...

    This statement can be translated as that while Zuckerberg gave the ultimate benefits to a small number of corporations

    (Above sentence has a wonky transition with "translated as that")

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  2. Beautifully formatted, and nicely written. A few more facts and quotes would be nice, but I'm not complaining. I liked this essay and it is persuasive. A few things to iron out as included above, but generally strong writing.

    One thing that does pop up now and then is the "run-on sentence." Some sentences are a bit loaded, so re-read out loud to see if and when you need to take a breath or rethink clarity.

    Good stuff here, and suitable title. As for what you say about Assange...was it really that groundbreaking? I think we all kind of knew the world was corrupt before he came along - but this isn't debate class so I won't argue your points.;)

    ReplyDelete